State Rep. Darlene Senger of Naperville has an interesting dilemma. She will be faced with a massive tax increase on thousands of everyday items, necessities, really, like soap, shampoo, toothpaste, mouthwash, sunscreen. A whopping 500%-plus tax increase on such items just passed the Illinois Senate and is now heading her way.

The bill also taxes non-essential things — those little nice little extras that we treat ourselves to — like candy, beer and soft drinks. Not necessarily the soft drinks that are nutritional, like anything over 50% juice. The ones that have less or no nutritional value, the kind that come in a pre-sealed bottle and contain natural or artificial sweeteners, like, oh, I don’t know, a Snapple Iced Tea.

If you think that because Senger is a Republican that this would be a no brainer, think again. Republicans in the Senate gushed with praise for the legislation. Her counterpart senator, Republican Randy Hultgren, voted YES. Republican Dan Cronin voted YES. Republican Carole Pankau voted YES. Republican Kirk Dillard voted YES.

Obviously, the best thing for her to do now is to “take a stand against her party,” and as you may know, any such stand will need to be approved of ahead of time by her party leadership and would have to have absolutely no consequences, like killing the bill.

But then she may not get that approval. That kind of discord can have consequences in this tax-hostile region of the Western Suburbs. The Republican Party stoked the anti-tax flames on April 15 by staging a Tax Day Protest in Downtown Naperville and said before God and everyone that they are sick of the taxes. Come to find out, most of the area’s state senators voted for this fiscally irresponsible and immoral bill.

If Representative Darlene Senger, who was a featured speaker at the Tax Day Protest, votes against the tax that Hultgren is for, it may get those hard-core right-wingers thinking, “Maybe she ought to have HIS job.” I’m sure Hultgren doesn’t want that, does he? And if they can say that about Hultgren in some districts, voters in other can say Cronin, Pankau and Dillard shouldn’t have their jobs either. Find more people like Senger, for goodness sake!

Thus, there may be some pressure to show what a darned good idea this is, even though it’s a tax increase, by having all House Republicans on board with the plan.

So will the Tax Day Tea Party protester raise taxes on Snapple Iced Tea? Stay tuned.

At least one act in the farce is over. The Burris appointment has been given clearance by the Secretary of the Senate, according to a statement from Senator Dick Durbin (via the Illinois Channel blog):

“The Secretary of the Senate has determined that the new credentials presented today on behalf of Mr. Burris now satisfy Senate Rules and validate his appointment to the vacant Illinois Senate seat. In addition, as we requested, Mr. Burris has provided sworn testimony before the Illinois House Committee on Impeachment regarding the circumstances of his appointment.

“We have spoken to Mr. Burris to let him know that he is now the Senator-designate from Illinois and as such, will be accorded all the rights and privileges of a Senator-elect.”

The drama that began in mid-December when Gov. Rod Blagojevich will finally reach a most painful, most awkward climax when Roland Burris, the polished-up yet eternally downtrodden anti-hero, shows up on the doorstep of the U.S. Senate and asks to be shown the swearing in line. He’ll be directed to wait in the audience. When all the other senators are sworn in, right before they move on to the next order of business, there will be a lingering moment in which the long-anticipated disruption will be given its fleeting opportunity to present itself. Burris will clear his throat, step forward out of the darkness and into a single spotlight. Dressed in his brown resale shop suit, politely holding his bowler in both hands in front of him, and with a slightly sad, slightly confused look, he’ll state almost apologetically he does believe there was some sort of oversight.

He will know of nothing rotten in the state of Illinois. He’ll seem oblivious even to the possibility, as it is explained to him that he can’t be seated because his paperwork is not in order. He’ll search his pockets for a moment. He’ll find a letter of recommendation, supported by a drivers license, perhaps utility bill or two. He will present these documents, but they will be refused with a wave.

Then a giant hook will descend around him and tug him by the waist out of the spotlight and off the Senate floor.

Outside, he will mope through the Capitol Hill corridors, crestfallen, with a gaggle of reporters snickering in his wake. After asking directions from a security guard at the front door, he will show up at Mr. Obama’s former office and test the door. It will be locked. A smartly dressed woman will stand on the other side of the glass door, arms crossed, shaking her head. Sorry Charlie.

A reporter will ask him again if he is the Junior Senator from Illinois, a phrase he’d used to describe himself earlier in the week. “I am. I know it. The fellow back in Illinois told me to just come here and they’d tell me what to do. Now they’re saying I need to have something else signed by the Secretary of State’s office before they can let me in.”

After taking a long flight home, Burris will return to his home, only to find the door busted open, with what looks like a single hole punched through the middle. He’ll enter his home to find it ransacked, all his valuables missing, and on his front-room mirror, the mockery of the thief’s calling card: A fast and dirty sketch of a pair of boxing gloves, drawn in hair gel.